Your highlights of 2023, and overcoming helplessness in 2024
The goal isn't to carry other people's pain. It's to show that you care.
For so many people, 2023 was the year of empathic distress—the pain of feeling others’ pain, while feeling helpless to do anything about it. To kick off 2024, I wrote about why empathy often drains and restrains us, and how compassion can help.
The most basic form of compassion is not assuaging distress but acknowledging it. Even if you can’t make people feel better, you can still help them feel seen.
The new year brings the international Hidden Potential tour. If you’re across the pond or down under, I hope to see you there:
Without further ado, here are your top 10 links of 2023:
Read
1. Women’s Weak Language Is a Secret Source of Strength (NYT)
The evidence on how talking tentatively can actually be an effective strategy.
2. If You Do This, Your Emails Might Be Rude (Granted)
How not to alienate your audience in 9 easy steps.
3. Americans Are Fake and the Dutch Are Rude (Behavioral Scientist)
A fascinating read on the psychology of cultural differences in communication.
4. What CEOs Are Getting Wrong About the Future of Work (WSJ)
Too many leaders cling to old convictions instead of testing new possibilities.
5. MBTI, If You Want Me Back, You Need to Change Too (Granted)
I wrote this breakup letter to the MBTI a decade ago, hoping it would change. It hasn't.
6. Your Most Ambivalent Relationships Are the Most Toxic (NYT)
Frenemies can wreak more havoc on your well-being than enemies.
Listen
7. Bringing out the good in kids—and parents—with Becky Kennedy: Apple | Spotify | Transcript
8. Unlocking Hidden Potential with Malcolm Gladwell: Apple | Spotify | Transcript
9. The science of recharging on weekends and vacations: Apple | Spotify | Transcript
10. Brené Brown and Simon Sinek on the leadership skills we need to build: Apple | Spotify | Transcript
Go Blue!
Adam
P.S. A new favorite Venn diagram:
As a non-believer I am always delighted to find great truths in believers writings. Re: your op/Ed today in the NYT, the following quote from the Talmud is what keeps me going when my courage fades:
“Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly now. Love mercy now. Walk humbly now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.”
Thank you for continuing the work!
Thank you. Its help, support and insights wealth reading, following and listening what you share. Be well.