40 Comments

I really enjoyed the extra five chapters you would’ve added. I like that you revisit and revise and reevaluate your work. That really helps me trust you and want to learn your opinions. Thanks!

Expand full comment

When younger writers and freelancers ask me if there’s a secret to success, I always say: “Help others succeed.”

Expand full comment

Well said.

Expand full comment

I so appreciate your pointing out the difference in how women’s and men’s giving and not giving is perceived. Seeing the discrepancy is at least a step in cultural change. I appreciated the cross cultural chart too on emotional expressiveness and leaning into and away from confrontation. It helps to depersonalize behaviors in the workplace that are easy to misunderstand. Love that you keep thinking about things! I’m a poet and your willingness to keep revising reminds me of this quote attributed to Valery “A poem is never finished, only abandoned.”

Expand full comment

Dear Adam, thank you for this post. This is very helpful. You are a helper. Thank you 🙏🏽

Expand full comment

In the spirit of giving - would you consider linking to Bookshop.org rather than Amazon when you include book links (with the recognition that this only works in the US) and also consider providing Worldcat links since not everyone can afford to buy books but might be inspired to read them if you could show them that they are available at a library near them.

Expand full comment

As a giver myself Adam, I love your work. I run organizational development mastermind groups via Zoom, and this is a fundamental value of the groups. We call it generosity. It makes peer mentoring super powerful.

Expand full comment

As per your usual--Spot On!

Expand full comment

Every single word here rings true and makes so much sense! For the long game, coach, teach and reach back a hand to bring someone forward. In the big game of life, what could matter more? By coaching others, not only are we helping them succeed but also gain the opportunity of seeing their progress and growth through the rest of their career’s…

Expand full comment

That´s the true treasure =)

Expand full comment

Serving others by giving is not often recognized as a vitality enhancing skill. The highest level of vitality is when you figure out how to use your time, talent and treasure to serve and support others.

I've read your book multiple times and continue to remind myself to be a Giver not a Taker everyday. Thank you for your sage advice and work.

Expand full comment

It seems to me there is another book here! Or at least a new edition? Thank you for always being open to revising your work. It's a good reminder to us all not to be so precious with our ideas.

Expand full comment

My thoughts exactly! There may even be 2 books in there...a second updated edition of Give and Take and a new book applying the concept to kids with Dr. Becky

Expand full comment

I believe being kind is one of the most important things we can do in life so it would be wonderful if being kind led to better life opportunities. I’d like to see more research on the studies mentioned about kindness being linked to higher grades and income to see if the two studies mentioned are outliers.

Expand full comment

If everyone thought like that, Chris, our world would be a beautiful place!

Expand full comment

I think there needs to be a sixth chapter, how women can continue being givers without the inborn expectation.

R

Expand full comment

Great insights as always Adam. I guess the question is when we do know all of this or most of it as humans why aren’t we adjusting for these behaviours in everyday life? Is that because as human beings we are all essentially selfish and that’s what drives our behaviours? It’s just the degree of selfishness that varies?

Expand full comment

I enjoyed the article, and I love your work. I found you at a critical time in my life through your podcast.

I would offer one critique with love. I think the section on the nature of giving between the sexes is a little played out. I've heard that narrative most of my life and there is something there that rings flat.

I'm not exactly sure what to offer as any kind of solution. Especially since this isn't your specialty or area of interest as I understand it. I guess I'll end this on a personal note. That's not what I have experienced from my peers and from my family. The narrative feels like a false distillation and I'm kind of tired is hearing it. I'm a little bummed hearing it from you to be honest.

Again I say this with love and no rancor. I'm a big fan. Happy spring 🌱

Expand full comment

To the point, Adam. Or better, spot-on!

Expand full comment

when we are feeling secure, competent, a new level of happiness come from contributing to other's journey to security and becoming more competent. The ripple efforts keeps going.

Expand full comment