Authenticity is not about expressing every opinion you hold. It's about ensuring that what you voice reflects what you value. If you prize respect and kindness, your comments shouldn't be filled with contempt and cruelty. Ideas are worth sharing when they represent your ideals.
Paywall on the NYT article-this error is enough to make me block the entire Granted message. It is never appropriate to swear but in his case all I can offer is a simple WTF?
The continued boost of James Clear is mystifying. Usually Adam’s recommendations are reliably experts in their fields; doctors, scientists, researchers. Clear appears to be just another blogger? No more an “expert” than any other self proclaimed social media influencer.
James Clear is "just another blogger?" I'd say authoring one of the most successful practical advice books on habits (ever) puts his legitimacy a bit beyond that. I don't think all valuable insights stem from purely the academic...
When did so many people come to rely on others for the answers to even minor challenging, or in most cases, frustrating situations? Asking for help with big problems. Yes. In the case of my son not liking chicken on the menu - what's wrong with saying "there's the refrigerator, fix whatever you'd like," or as we were told, "well, it's either chicken or hungry, you choose."
When we said ... "Mom, will you bring me a glass of water?" We heard 'what did your last maid die from - get it yourself.
Love my kids and grandkids - but the sooner they learn how life works, the easier it will be for them and everyone they come into contact with.
There’s nothing wrong w those two answers. In the example, she yelled at her son for expressing his dislike or of what she was making. The talk is about how to repair when you mess up in relationships, a skill that is majorly missing in our society as a whole and extremely important for the healthy emotional development of children.
May i just say that I haven’t stopped thinking about your article on the language women use since I read it?! It has never crossed my mind that this double bind I’ve found myself in so many times might best be resolved by actually valuing the sugar I have poured over so many conversations. Of course, it takes a lot of work and sacrifice (at least initially) to use your mental effort and time to communicate this way. There are days when I just want to say what needs to be said and move on, like men do. Not unkindly, or with sarcasm, but directly. I have figured that this issue alone is why the men in my life seem to have so much more time. Did they stop to reread every line and consider all the outcomes? Did they think about how they would ask for that thing they needed to do their job at least 3 days or more before they actually addressed it because ...so many reasons? Yet, maybe the sugar is a kindly bit that makes the interpersonal softer and fosters cohesion among groups? I don’t know for sure, but I’m curious now to rethink how I view this way that women speak, to see it with more grace and less bitterness. That would be a nice change of focus, am I right? 😉
I very much enjoyed and appreciated your article on women and “weak language.” I did not enjoy the article headline. “Women Know Exactly What They’re Doing When They Use Weak Language”.
The headline played to men and others who suspect or believe that the stereotype of manipulative women who tempt and ensnare men into honey traps has truth to it; and further, seems designed to make some of us angry, to make it appear that women have agency with respect to using “weak” language (aka “persuasive charm”, as it would be described if it was related to a man) as opposed to developing what is effectively a cultural survival skill (think Scheherazade, the original master storyteller who told stories for 1001 nights to keep from being executed by her king.)
So, bravo for that headline (or to the editor who agreed to it)! By making readers like me experience discomfort, you successfully drew me into reading the article - and sharing it!
Conflict attracts our attention and draws us in. For me, this headline was an excellent example, whether intentional or not, of writing a smart “clickbait” headline to accompany an excellent article.
Paywall on the NYT article-this error is enough to make me block the entire Granted message. It is never appropriate to swear but in his case all I can offer is a simple WTF?
If a paywall is a dealbreaker, you’re going to find a lot of dealbreakers here on substack.
The continued boost of James Clear is mystifying. Usually Adam’s recommendations are reliably experts in their fields; doctors, scientists, researchers. Clear appears to be just another blogger? No more an “expert” than any other self proclaimed social media influencer.
James Clear is "just another blogger?" I'd say authoring one of the most successful practical advice books on habits (ever) puts his legitimacy a bit beyond that. I don't think all valuable insights stem from purely the academic...
Agree. James Clear was a surprise addition for me too.
When did so many people come to rely on others for the answers to even minor challenging, or in most cases, frustrating situations? Asking for help with big problems. Yes. In the case of my son not liking chicken on the menu - what's wrong with saying "there's the refrigerator, fix whatever you'd like," or as we were told, "well, it's either chicken or hungry, you choose."
When we said ... "Mom, will you bring me a glass of water?" We heard 'what did your last maid die from - get it yourself.
Love my kids and grandkids - but the sooner they learn how life works, the easier it will be for them and everyone they come into contact with.
There’s nothing wrong w those two answers. In the example, she yelled at her son for expressing his dislike or of what she was making. The talk is about how to repair when you mess up in relationships, a skill that is majorly missing in our society as a whole and extremely important for the healthy emotional development of children.
May i just say that I haven’t stopped thinking about your article on the language women use since I read it?! It has never crossed my mind that this double bind I’ve found myself in so many times might best be resolved by actually valuing the sugar I have poured over so many conversations. Of course, it takes a lot of work and sacrifice (at least initially) to use your mental effort and time to communicate this way. There are days when I just want to say what needs to be said and move on, like men do. Not unkindly, or with sarcasm, but directly. I have figured that this issue alone is why the men in my life seem to have so much more time. Did they stop to reread every line and consider all the outcomes? Did they think about how they would ask for that thing they needed to do their job at least 3 days or more before they actually addressed it because ...so many reasons? Yet, maybe the sugar is a kindly bit that makes the interpersonal softer and fosters cohesion among groups? I don’t know for sure, but I’m curious now to rethink how I view this way that women speak, to see it with more grace and less bitterness. That would be a nice change of focus, am I right? 😉
The Ted Talk is very helpful. Thanks for sharing.
Oooh good stuff🙏🏼 Will be watching that TED talk this afternoon!
I very much enjoyed and appreciated your article on women and “weak language.” I did not enjoy the article headline. “Women Know Exactly What They’re Doing When They Use Weak Language”.
The headline played to men and others who suspect or believe that the stereotype of manipulative women who tempt and ensnare men into honey traps has truth to it; and further, seems designed to make some of us angry, to make it appear that women have agency with respect to using “weak” language (aka “persuasive charm”, as it would be described if it was related to a man) as opposed to developing what is effectively a cultural survival skill (think Scheherazade, the original master storyteller who told stories for 1001 nights to keep from being executed by her king.)
So, bravo for that headline (or to the editor who agreed to it)! By making readers like me experience discomfort, you successfully drew me into reading the article - and sharing it!
Conflict attracts our attention and draws us in. For me, this headline was an excellent example, whether intentional or not, of writing a smart “clickbait” headline to accompany an excellent article.
The first couple of lines seems oversimplification. Most people have complex, nuanced, conflicted values. This complexity (and beauty) may get lost.