Thank you for this. Posts, especially on social media, are the cheapest of the cheap, like hurling a rotten egg or tomato to a crowd or from a crowd. Less cheap but still, are the emails. Next are the mass copies. Instead, handwrite me a note. Meet me for coffee. Let’s look at one another and talk.
Given your profession, a post about the dynamics that lead to compassion fatigue, or an examination of the social psychology that leads people to demand that people in your position post about every cause, would be more welcome. This reads like you're distancing yourself from everyday humans, readers of your work.
Thanks, Maya. Not intending to distance myself from readers-- on the contrary, trying to give voice to the sentiments many feel around the pressure to post. As for your first suggestion, YES! Here's my analysis of the dynamics: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/01/01/opinion/israel-war-empathy-pain.html
Thanks so much, Adam :)) The sentiment resonates with me, too. I'm a private person and have also received grief for not airing my thoughts on many a cause on my very tiny corner of the social media world. So I can just imagine how many projections and unreasonable demands are hurled your way. I simply choose to focus my life force on having an impact on what I care about offline, and I imagine you do, too. Interesting to note the difference in responses to the poem here versus Instagram, which perhaps just reinforces your sentiment. Social media is a cesspool for unresolved anger. I think it's the tone of the poem that caught me off guard. But perhaps it reflects t shows your exasperation. And thank you for the link; I'm afraid I've had to unsubscribe to the NY Times. But Canada's Globe and Mail (where I live) continues to publish with integrity, in my opinion.
A lot of the criticisms here show a lack of ability to take another person’s perspective. Online creators are bombarded with demands from strangers who have developed a parasocial relationship via the false intimacy of social media. It’s exhausting for people who create for one purpose and find themselves constantly criticized for unrelated reasons. Adam can choose to stay in his lane, and we can respect his choice. (I’m not an influencer because it doesn’t look fun).
Right? I’m reading through the criticisms and wondering what they are so offended about. Like he literally said “It’s my platform and I’ll post if I want to. I didn’t post about your cause.
Because.” Maybe it’s the tism’ and me being rather b&w but I am genuinely flabbergasted. Humans are weird. 😆
It’s repetitive without adding much depth, and comes off preachy, self-important, passive-aggressive, and overly defensive. The core idea is good, but instead of leading the conversation somewhere interesting, it mostly reads as a emo high school kids diary entry. It’s also a bit MAGA coded or MAGA-adjacent. We deserve more from our thought leaders
It was based on your response that the conversation didn’t lead anywhere interesting and was like a diary entry. What if it was? What if it was a form of expression?
People who are in the public face a lot of scrutiny when they “choose a side”. They have been idolized in a parasocial relationship and they can become demonized when they stray from ones expectations (check out the discussion with Brené Brown on Trevor Noah recently).
To “deserve more” from Adam also reinforces part of the point he seems to be making.
Your comment is an example of bad faith dialogue. You're trying to make it personal and suggest I'm demanding something from Adam. I said from "thought leaders," which are a group of people, not an individual as noted from the plural noun, and touches on professional standards which this "poem" does not seem to be especially considering how he has previously positioned himself. Refer and respond to the actual comment when responding. Twisting words is not a good way to present yourself
Deserving more from thought leaders is subjective. What do we deserve from them? What happens when’s it doesn’t align with our worldview? I interpret his point as his cause (thoughts, perspective) may differ from others and it’s okay if he chose to or not to be in alignment on social media.
You indicated that his core idea is good. What about it did you find good?
Did someone just catch a glimpse of themselves in a mirror? Scary stuff, right?
Saying he is not going to be an unpaid cog in someone else's project is hardly preachy, self-important or passive aggressive. It's pretty normal and healthy actually.
But good job using bullying language and approved talking points to silence someone that mearly said "You do you and I'll do me".
Constructive criticism is timely, specific and actionable. If you think you deserve more, then you need to ask for it in a timely, specific and actionable manner. I am the creator of thought literacy, the pre-meta foundational level life skillset that precedes EQ with metacognition as a downstream benefit and takes a proactive instead of reactive approach to mental health. A clinical psychologist said my work was utterly fascinating and would change the life of anyone who reads it, reviewers say my books are literally changing and saving their lives. As the mother of thought literacy, I am the leader, what specifically do you think you deserve from me, Miriam? Let me go get a pen!
I have mixed feelings about your post. While I think it’s important to unplug from social media for periods of time and not engage, and just take breaks from screens in general, your post comes off as a bit smug. After having participated in the resistance to operation metro surge in Mpls and being part of the mutual aid to protect my neighbors who were being attacked, killed and dehumanized by the federal government, well, that resistance couldn’t have happened without people “posting.” So there’s that. So sit in your detachment. Fine. What a privilege.
I get the jist of what you are saying and you are correct about movements happing due to influence on social media but that doesn’t create an obligation on Adam. He is setting boundaries not disassociating. He didn’t say he wouldn’t support a movement or support social justice. He was saying stop sending me requests to support every cause - that’s not the purpose of my platform. He wants to remain authentic. Why does this then become an exercise of him flashing his privilege?
Came here after seeing this post on IG and reading the varying reactions there. As I expected, the Substack conversation is much more reflective - both from those who appreciated the post’s broader intent and those who may have thought the delivery came across as insensitive or aloof. After reading all of the comments across both platforms, I can see both perspectives, but found the exchange on Substack much more constructive than IG.
My key takeaway, and the principle I try to operate by (on all platforms) is, post and engage with intention. There’s a difference between a point that could have been framed more tactfully and one deliberately posted to cause hurt or division. I always try to read for intent along with the message itself, and only respond in ways that move a conversation forward. This extends to who I follow and how they use their voice online.
Hope this is a constructive example of “choosing to post.” Thanks for reading.
I'm not a DJ 🤣🤣🤣🤣. Love it.
Thank you for this. Posts, especially on social media, are the cheapest of the cheap, like hurling a rotten egg or tomato to a crowd or from a crowd. Less cheap but still, are the emails. Next are the mass copies. Instead, handwrite me a note. Meet me for coffee. Let’s look at one another and talk.
YES!!!
I didn't post about your cause because
my voice is not your propaganda tool
Given your profession, a post about the dynamics that lead to compassion fatigue, or an examination of the social psychology that leads people to demand that people in your position post about every cause, would be more welcome. This reads like you're distancing yourself from everyday humans, readers of your work.
Thanks, Maya. Not intending to distance myself from readers-- on the contrary, trying to give voice to the sentiments many feel around the pressure to post. As for your first suggestion, YES! Here's my analysis of the dynamics: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/01/01/opinion/israel-war-empathy-pain.html
Thanks so much, Adam :)) The sentiment resonates with me, too. I'm a private person and have also received grief for not airing my thoughts on many a cause on my very tiny corner of the social media world. So I can just imagine how many projections and unreasonable demands are hurled your way. I simply choose to focus my life force on having an impact on what I care about offline, and I imagine you do, too. Interesting to note the difference in responses to the poem here versus Instagram, which perhaps just reinforces your sentiment. Social media is a cesspool for unresolved anger. I think it's the tone of the poem that caught me off guard. But perhaps it reflects t shows your exasperation. And thank you for the link; I'm afraid I've had to unsubscribe to the NY Times. But Canada's Globe and Mail (where I live) continues to publish with integrity, in my opinion.
I really appreciate you mentioning this
A lot of the criticisms here show a lack of ability to take another person’s perspective. Online creators are bombarded with demands from strangers who have developed a parasocial relationship via the false intimacy of social media. It’s exhausting for people who create for one purpose and find themselves constantly criticized for unrelated reasons. Adam can choose to stay in his lane, and we can respect his choice. (I’m not an influencer because it doesn’t look fun).
Right? I’m reading through the criticisms and wondering what they are so offended about. Like he literally said “It’s my platform and I’ll post if I want to. I didn’t post about your cause.
Because.” Maybe it’s the tism’ and me being rather b&w but I am genuinely flabbergasted. Humans are weird. 😆
They are taking it personally which is the opposite of the point, is my guess.
Beautiful! Discernment matters. Especially in a world addicted to performative certainty.
We all were feeling it. Thank you for finding the words and saying it 🙏🏾
It’s repetitive without adding much depth, and comes off preachy, self-important, passive-aggressive, and overly defensive. The core idea is good, but instead of leading the conversation somewhere interesting, it mostly reads as a emo high school kids diary entry. It’s also a bit MAGA coded or MAGA-adjacent. We deserve more from our thought leaders
To me, it read more like a piece of poetry. I think that in its own can create dialogue.
This is dialogue, no?
It was based on your response that the conversation didn’t lead anywhere interesting and was like a diary entry. What if it was? What if it was a form of expression?
People who are in the public face a lot of scrutiny when they “choose a side”. They have been idolized in a parasocial relationship and they can become demonized when they stray from ones expectations (check out the discussion with Brené Brown on Trevor Noah recently).
To “deserve more” from Adam also reinforces part of the point he seems to be making.
Your comment is an example of bad faith dialogue. You're trying to make it personal and suggest I'm demanding something from Adam. I said from "thought leaders," which are a group of people, not an individual as noted from the plural noun, and touches on professional standards which this "poem" does not seem to be especially considering how he has previously positioned himself. Refer and respond to the actual comment when responding. Twisting words is not a good way to present yourself
Sure. I’ll clarify my point.
Deserving more from thought leaders is subjective. What do we deserve from them? What happens when’s it doesn’t align with our worldview? I interpret his point as his cause (thoughts, perspective) may differ from others and it’s okay if he chose to or not to be in alignment on social media.
You indicated that his core idea is good. What about it did you find good?
Did someone just catch a glimpse of themselves in a mirror? Scary stuff, right?
Saying he is not going to be an unpaid cog in someone else's project is hardly preachy, self-important or passive aggressive. It's pretty normal and healthy actually.
But good job using bullying language and approved talking points to silence someone that mearly said "You do you and I'll do me".
I can see you tried really hard here
We deserve more from our thought literacy leaders.
Constructive criticism is timely, specific and actionable. If you think you deserve more, then you need to ask for it in a timely, specific and actionable manner. I am the creator of thought literacy, the pre-meta foundational level life skillset that precedes EQ with metacognition as a downstream benefit and takes a proactive instead of reactive approach to mental health. A clinical psychologist said my work was utterly fascinating and would change the life of anyone who reads it, reviewers say my books are literally changing and saving their lives. As the mother of thought literacy, I am the leader, what specifically do you think you deserve from me, Miriam? Let me go get a pen!
Thank you and thank you for this critically. Important reminder. 🙏🏼
I comment on your post because
the hardest thing is not choosing a side,
but noticing where you hide.
I have mixed feelings about your post. While I think it’s important to unplug from social media for periods of time and not engage, and just take breaks from screens in general, your post comes off as a bit smug. After having participated in the resistance to operation metro surge in Mpls and being part of the mutual aid to protect my neighbors who were being attacked, killed and dehumanized by the federal government, well, that resistance couldn’t have happened without people “posting.” So there’s that. So sit in your detachment. Fine. What a privilege.
I get the jist of what you are saying and you are correct about movements happing due to influence on social media but that doesn’t create an obligation on Adam. He is setting boundaries not disassociating. He didn’t say he wouldn’t support a movement or support social justice. He was saying stop sending me requests to support every cause - that’s not the purpose of my platform. He wants to remain authentic. Why does this then become an exercise of him flashing his privilege?
Boundaries online matter just as much as anywhere else.
Beautifully said. Thank you.
Care doesn’t always translate into posting.
Came here after seeing this post on IG and reading the varying reactions there. As I expected, the Substack conversation is much more reflective - both from those who appreciated the post’s broader intent and those who may have thought the delivery came across as insensitive or aloof. After reading all of the comments across both platforms, I can see both perspectives, but found the exchange on Substack much more constructive than IG.
My key takeaway, and the principle I try to operate by (on all platforms) is, post and engage with intention. There’s a difference between a point that could have been framed more tactfully and one deliberately posted to cause hurt or division. I always try to read for intent along with the message itself, and only respond in ways that move a conversation forward. This extends to who I follow and how they use their voice online.
Hope this is a constructive example of “choosing to post.” Thanks for reading.
Thank you - a thoughtful comment.
So, you are saying you aren’t going to post about the parking problem in my village during ski season? Ugh! What am I going to do now…