It often depends on how the criticism is given. Harsh criticism is always difficult to swallow. On the other hand gentle constructive criticism can be very useful
Strongly agree. Leaders should own results good and bad. And yet the United States currently seems deeply attracted to leaders who take no responsibility for anything but their successes. What does this say about our country and our times?
Deep thoughts. Leadership should be about building others and growing with them too. In fact leadership is only an opportunity for you to serve not to be worshipped.
My work as a counselor demonstrates that most people are firmly dug into their positions. They don’t see themselves as the world sees them, and are willfully unaware of it. Unless they are the unusual ones who honestly desire to know themselves and grow, it’s often a futile band aid fix.
I especially appreciated the article on wrong lessons about Elon Musk. I had Apple as a client just as Jobs was ushered out. You are right. He returned having learned to temper his demeaning and more effective.
I LOVE the Elon Musk article. Empathy is something I explain to all of my clients. This includes empathy in personal relationships (we are leaders at home and at work). This same philosophy works with children and partners!
Loved the interview about sleep and the perspectives around it being a social community service as well! Totally made me laugh- everyone needs a break from everyone else at some point. TY for providing transcripts too. I read about 50x faster than I can listen.
The same criticism—at one time, it is an unacceptable critique, and at another, a well-intentioned piece of advice. What determines such a different perception of the same (or similar) thing? Relationship. A good relationship leads to goodwill—a relationship full of sincere respect and life’s 'testing'
This may be too much to ask, but it would help if the articles cited were accessible without a subscription to any specific newspaper or periodical, etc.
I am already subscribed to your email list and substack.
Disagree. Strong leaders know that they themselves are their own harshest critic and will pivot as needed. They don’t need to “listen” to external noise. Instead, they hear it, then turn it down so they can tune in to their internal voice.
Silencing and submitting the proud self to the sovereign will of God with patience , humility ,wisdom and faith will bring us to great deliverance and development.
In general, this is true, but in the particular, it depends on how we judge the leader (from our perspective) who we deem "can't handle criticism." I have seen CEOs shutdown criticism for good reason... it depends on WHEN the criticism is given, WHAT is the criticism and then WHO is saying it. A leader should listen to that worth listening to... In the name of empathy, too many leaders suffer fools (those ruled by their emotions, who speak without thinking, and offer resistance without reasoning) and the rest of the team suffers because of the leader's poor judgment in not knowing WHEN, WHAT and WHO to listen to.
It often depends on how the criticism is given. Harsh criticism is always difficult to swallow. On the other hand gentle constructive criticism can be very useful
Understood. Not sure why it was necessary to state this. We all know that we don't like to experience harsh critiques.
Strongly agree. Leaders should own results good and bad. And yet the United States currently seems deeply attracted to leaders who take no responsibility for anything but their successes. What does this say about our country and our times?
Deep thoughts. Leadership should be about building others and growing with them too. In fact leadership is only an opportunity for you to serve not to be worshipped.
Yes—and I think this hits part of the deeper truth:
“Insecure people gravitate to narcissistic leaders”
Because those leaders project the illusion of certainty in an uncertain world.
But let’s be honest—this isn’t just a personal failing.
It’s the result of a culture built on insecurity.
A system that erodes confidence and then sells it back to us as status.
Where we’ve been taught that leverage is the same as confidence,
That dominance = leadership
And that whoever talks the loudest must know the most.
So yes—“it’s time to stop mistaking confidence for competence.”
But it’s also time to stop mistaking leverage for confidence.
Because the more we center power instead of presence,
Ego instead of empathy,
The more we feed the very insecurities that leave us vulnerable to these leaders in the first place.
Real confidence doesn’t need a spotlight.
It doesn’t need a pedestal.
It’s quiet. Grounded. Secure. Internal.
And that’s why it’s so rare in a world built on leverage.
My work as a counselor demonstrates that most people are firmly dug into their positions. They don’t see themselves as the world sees them, and are willfully unaware of it. Unless they are the unusual ones who honestly desire to know themselves and grow, it’s often a futile band aid fix.
Adam,
I especially appreciated the article on wrong lessons about Elon Musk. I had Apple as a client just as Jobs was ushered out. You are right. He returned having learned to temper his demeaning and more effective.
I LOVE the Elon Musk article. Empathy is something I explain to all of my clients. This includes empathy in personal relationships (we are leaders at home and at work). This same philosophy works with children and partners!
Brightn
Hey
Loved the interview about sleep and the perspectives around it being a social community service as well! Totally made me laugh- everyone needs a break from everyone else at some point. TY for providing transcripts too. I read about 50x faster than I can listen.
So true. That's why I don't share this on social media.
The same criticism—at one time, it is an unacceptable critique, and at another, a well-intentioned piece of advice. What determines such a different perception of the same (or similar) thing? Relationship. A good relationship leads to goodwill—a relationship full of sincere respect and life’s 'testing'
This may be too much to ask, but it would help if the articles cited were accessible without a subscription to any specific newspaper or periodical, etc.
I am already subscribed to your email list and substack.
Disagree. Strong leaders know that they themselves are their own harshest critic and will pivot as needed. They don’t need to “listen” to external noise. Instead, they hear it, then turn it down so they can tune in to their internal voice.
It’s starting to change.
Or is it?
There is a another booth.
Call it the booth of carefully considered truths.
They come in the form of connected ideas packaged not in marketing ribbons but in experience-sharing shared-desire formats.
People show up, feel better, and fully relax.
Once the container has been built through connection the truth pill is not only accepted but gratefully and with gratitude.
In other words nobody wants to be told they are lying to themselves.
It’s obvious to everybody else and them it’s happening.
When they get a chance to see it themselves?
They pick the third booth.
When I learned this back in 2011 it was called my choice.
It’s not quite The Matrix.
That came later.
This was one of those Men’s Weekends where you are given the Friday night choice.
The key was that we came up with the answers ourselves.
Silencing and submitting the proud self to the sovereign will of God with patience , humility ,wisdom and faith will bring us to great deliverance and development.
My whatsapp - message :
91 9820622511
In general, this is true, but in the particular, it depends on how we judge the leader (from our perspective) who we deem "can't handle criticism." I have seen CEOs shutdown criticism for good reason... it depends on WHEN the criticism is given, WHAT is the criticism and then WHO is saying it. A leader should listen to that worth listening to... In the name of empathy, too many leaders suffer fools (those ruled by their emotions, who speak without thinking, and offer resistance without reasoning) and the rest of the team suffers because of the leader's poor judgment in not knowing WHEN, WHAT and WHO to listen to.